You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
