Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize