The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
