I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
