he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
