we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
