I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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