he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
