I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
