the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
