By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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