I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
