1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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