Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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