ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
