I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
