Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
