What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I think my moral compass just broke
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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