Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
there is puke in my bra ... again
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
