"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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