Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
