Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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