Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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