I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
