woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
