It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize