I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Never underestimate the power of titties
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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