His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So many bounce houses so little time
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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