I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
