That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
