curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
