just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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