i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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