I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
