bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
