around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize