Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
