So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
