...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
