can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
