They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
