i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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