Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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