I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
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