Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
