No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
