the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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