i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
