Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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