Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
