physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
