Got a toothbrush?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
