people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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