What a fucking waste of an outfit
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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