I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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