so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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