He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
