i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
