Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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