I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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