So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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