new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
