i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Randomize
