I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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