i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize