Your tits are I can't wait for
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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