there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i think im in europe. pls send help
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
