soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize