what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
