Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
