where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
