I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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