wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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