so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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