just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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