So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
