So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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