You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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