i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize